Senior Skip Day

a runner's note: when you are tired or it is hard to run, it is easier to kind of tighten up in your stride and have sloppy form. ironically, when you get sloppy with the way you run, everything only gets harder. and even though it is easier to give up to whatever is fatiguing you, it really will only slow you down and end up making things harder.

today was Senior Skip Day, but it wasn't approved by the teachers. it was supposed to be secret, but we are terrible at that, and everyone knew about it before it happened. yesterday, i received two e-mails telling me to make the right choices and also two threats - a 10% deduction off a calculus quiz grade and not being able to run in the track meet on Friday. all of the other seniors who were not being pressured by these threats said everyone should skip regardless, and then the consequences will essentially be rendered inapplicable - they couldn't keep all of the seniors out of the track meet on Friday. and our calculus teacher certainly couldn't drop 10% off of the entire class's grades. and the entire school couldn't punish the entire grade all at once, or else it would cease to function.

and i think this is terribly missing the point, though i think it shouldn't have been such a big deal that we were going to skip school (and i ended up going only to appease the authorities and not specifically because i was looking for something to learn). because all of the other seniors were telling us just to bail out and that they wouldn't be able to do anything about it, and regardless of how correct or incorrect this might be, it is terribly missing the point.

i went to school so i could go to track because i wanted my coach's favor. i didn't want him being mad at me, i didn't want him to have some kind of reason against me. and though he might not have been able to punish me for skipping out when he had clearly laid out rules, it's obvious to see that it would have set up at least a temporary wall in our relationship. because it's not about getting to do whatever you want. it's about not abusing your relationships, it's about trying to be "in the right."

people get the conception that, if God forgives everybody, then you could go around and do whatever you want, and then you could just go back to Him whenever you want, completely under your own conditions, and ask for forgiveness and He would have to give it to you. so no matter how much bad you do, you're still forgiven. yes, this is true. but the idea is not to go around seeing how much sin you can get away with. being forgiven (not punished) is vastly different from being saved (in the right, one might say)

God forgives everyone. It's par for the course, if you understand. everyone gets His forgiveness. it's not about being forgiven, or getting to do whatever you want to do, or getting away with junk without having to face punishments. it's even inevitable - sooner or later, you're going to betray God or skip out on Him or do something that would give Him reason to punish you. it's not what you do that matters - it's where your heart is, it's whether you're going to keep skipping out of responsibilities because they can't do anything about it, or if you're going to realize that you might be hurting someone or yourself or that something's at stake that is more important than you getting to do whatever you want. [by the way, God can do something about it. and He won't save those who haven't chosen to be saved by Him]

it's about being in the right with God in a relationship with Him. He saves those who actually care about that relationship. we all screw up. but we all have His forgiveness. what we do and who we are are two different things. and who we are is what really matters. trying to do who we say we are is the challenge.