knowing who God is, pt 2

today was all about worship, that's all we did today in the English service. and what was weird, was that, once i had really gotten into it and everybody else had, i found myself saying "this is God, this is who God is" over and over again. i looked around at the room and the hands going up, i looked at mike and lisa playing and singing and i saw Richard in a corner with his eyes closed and just praising and i saw Jerry doing the same and i saw Jojo on his knees beside me and i saw Billy praying with Leo, and i saw the girls standing with their hands up, and i saw all sorts of things like this...and i couldn't stop thinking "this is God. this is what our God does, this is who we serve."

because i look around the room and it's more than just people i see, it's what's going on. i see the change that is happening, i see the brokenness that is healing, i see the lives that are being renewed, being brought to actual life. i see the excitement that is happening, the truth that is being revealed, the sensation of things coming together and beginning to make sense, the fire of a Lord that doesn't come to steal or to kill, but to bring all of us life, true life. i see people starting to lose control, people starting to give everything away to God, whose very character is that He is right, that He knows what's going on.

and so...this is our God. One who came to liberate, one who sets on fire the lives of His children, who is leading us back to Him, who is getting us excited about life, who even just flat out brings us life. and that is what is so exciting, because today is a day people won't forget. today's the day people got a glimpse of heaven, they got a glimpse of what all of the God hype is all about - that it's real. you can feel it in the air, you can feel the hope, you can feel the love. you can feel that there's more going on than just us, there's more happening than simply a bunch of people gathered together doing something called church. you can tell lives are being changed, that there is something significant happening.

and... it's all amazing. the next big thought was "Don't let anybody miss out." because... i hope no one has to miss out. i hope no one is stuck thinking everything sucks, that there is no hope. i hope everyone gets to know what it feels like to know who God really is, that life isn't supposed to be about always trying to get better at the things you are doing, it's about finding out who God is. because, if everyone just knew what God sees in them, everything would change. to know that there is someone who died for them. there is someone who said He would never leave them, someone who said I love you. so many have never heard it, have never felt it. they've never known that they could mean so much to somebody. but we have a God who died for us, this is our God.

i started praying for people. it was great. sometimes worship feels like ecstacy - a lot of crying and whatnot, but today it wasn't like that. today it was... honest seeking. true acknowledgement that God is our everything, that God deserves all of us, that God is our only answer. no more expectations of what things should be, no more compromise with sin, no more limit to how much we choose to give to God, it was just God showing up. and He showed up...

i started thinking about this song once we had finished worship; it's called This is Our God, by Chris Tomiln