you have no reason of knowing

sorry. sorta jumbled thoughts.

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i was thinking if i tried to explain to someone that i believed God had told me something, then i perceived the following question: "How do you know God really said that?" and it's a little like the question "How do you know that God is real?" and honestly...i think it's just some kind of deep feeling you get inside yourself that calls you or points you to truth. it's something deeper than yourself that you would probably have trouble explaining to anyone but it's enough to convince you.

1 John says "Now he who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. And by this we know that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us" at the end of chapter 3. in 4:13, it says "By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit."

and it seems like the whole world is asking, "How do you know? You can't know. You have no reason of knowing." ...i don't think i can convince anyone that i really do know. i can only rather be convinced that what i am looking at is truth, and after seeing it come through for me and go through test after test, i believe i am led deeper into truth.

Jesus asked His apostles who people thought He was, and they answered Him that some said He was Elijah or John the Baptist or one of the prophets. and Jesus asked who they thought He was, and Peter said he believed Jesus is the "Christ, the Son of the living God" in Matthew 16:16. and Jesus said, "Blessed are you...for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven." How did he know? Peter shouldn't have known, had no reason of knowing, and yet he knew.

in Mark 5, there was a ruler of a synagogue whose daughter was very sick. he sought Jesus, asking for His healing. before Jesus got there, the daughter died, so they thought it was over, and that they shouldn't trouble Jesus. Jesus went anyways, and when He got to the house, there were a bunch of mourners outside, "wailing loudly." and Jesus told them that they shouldn't be crying, because the daughter was not dead, but asleep. "And they ridiculed Him" (v. 40).

Jesus went inside the house after putting everyone outside and was alone with the father, mother, and child. and then Jesus brought her back to life. "And they [the parents] were overcome with great amazement. But He commanded them strictly that no one should know it." the masses had just ridiculed Jesus for saying that the daughter was only sleeping. what do you think was harder? for Jesus not to rub it into the faces of the masses that He was right and they knew nothing of what they were talking about? or for the parents to be commanded strictly not to tell anyone. your daughter died, God brought her back to life, and you're not supposed to tell anyone? wouldn't people notice...isn't that the daughter who died? why is she walking around? and you couldn't tell them what happened...

for some reason, when Jesus did a lot of His miracles, He seemed to tell people not to tell anyone else. He healed them in secret, and then He wanted to make sure people didn't tell everyone about Him.

how would they know? because Jesus had come in and literally changed things around in their life. because Jesus was standing right in front of them, more real than anything they could ever find in this world. because something deep connected...and maybe they shouldn't have known and had no reason of knowing, but somehow...what Jesus said to them specifically and personally made sense. when He said "No one gets to the Father but through Me," somehow they felt that this was right. i'm not saying that anything that feels right is right. i'm saying...you can know. even if it feels right, stay with it long enough and be real about it, and i think you'll truly know whether it is or isn't.

for some reason, when Jesus spoke, they came alive. they knew Him for themselves - hearing about Him failed tremendously in comparison. hearing about God is nothing to experiencing God, to have His love heavy on your heart on your best and worst days and know that you could never do anything to earn it or lose it, but that it has been imparted to you.

for some reason, i really think you can know things you're not supposed to know. for some reason, i really believe you can find everything in God. and i guess it's the whole challenge of my life to connect my beliefs with my actions.