transitions

i guess i'm in that weird spot that probably all college students have to go through. i don't really have a home. i don't really have a family, or a church, or a best friend. i don't really have a mentor, and i don't have a girlfriend.

the only thing i still have is God, and i must admit that it's not exactly satisfying. i don't think i'm giving Him my whole heart, but...i've still given Him something (the easy things, probably, until it gets hard), so i expect to go somewhere, and if i don't, then it's not exactly satisfying. i think i want it to resemble work too. i want to go out and save people and end poverty and hunger and change things and...maybe get a rock star kind of personality, the kind of Christian heavyweights like Rob Bell or Chris Tomlin. but...it's not about that at all, and if i want it to be like that, it'll be the same as giving up on God with the alias of a Christian.

each day at a time. no regrets. do what you can, nothing more. don't get down on yourself. failure happens. but success happens. don't be so numbed that you don't enjoy it. God will enjoy it too. weigh your relationships. count your blessings and your priorities. consider changing. consider work ethic - all things that are worth doing are hard and may take discipline. change what needs to be changed. evaluate yourself. be reflective. seize the day. no regrets.

we're all blessed. what's funny is that usually only the destitute and blind see it. only the truly destitute and blind understsand what it means to love and the simple joy of an answered prayer. we don't know love and one answered prayer only seems to prompt more and more requests for answers and signs than praise for a God who hears, tolerates, and grants us our deepest wishes and, sometimes, our most on-the-surface wishes.

oh yeah, and add to that second to last paragraph. it's gotta be God. don't be so consumed by work or stress or schedules or laziness that you miss it. every moment is precious, every heart beautiful. everything cries out to His glory, to this Savior, even if they don't know who they're crying to or can see who it is they need. there's a reason why we love movies like Finding Nemo or Pride and Prejudice or Spiderman 3. because we believe. we want life to be like that, filled with love and the drama and such belief in a hero who will push himself to all sorts of limits to overcome the evil that is separation or a villain or misunderstanding.

and that is truth is this: our lives are just like this. they're precious, they're beautiful. but our only audience will be God. don't let other people be your audience, because they're actors right alongside you, living their own movies. the only one outside of the story - heck, even telling the story - is God. and your life is like the movies. when you fall in love, God sits back, overcome by joy, and wants it to last just like you do. when you fall into depression and deception, a tear comes to God's eye and He wants it to end just like you do. and when everything has become so numbing, so stressful and seemingly meaningless, God pursues. God heals. God moves.

your life is a movie, it's something wonderful. but you've got to overcome first. you might have all this crap and junk in your life, i know i do. maybe you have to get out of school first, maybe it'll take a couple of years. maybe it's something that needs to change now, maybe something that should be handled later. but you don't have to overcome it; in fact, i wouldn't be surprised if the fight was so much bigger than us that we couldn't stand up against our Goliaths. God's there. God's the hero in the movie, the one who gives everything away so you can finally stop and realize, at the very end, how much He had really given away. so you can stop and finally see everything He had really done was, in fact, for you. and He did all of this so that, at the end, the bombs will be going off and people will be screaming all around you, and time will slow down, and the only words that anyone will ever hear are "I love you. I love you, God." and the only words you'll ever hear again are "I love you too."