i remember a couple of weeks ago, when God revived me, not knowing how i should approach ministry. how i should talk to people, or more accurately, how people should get saved. my dilemma was that i usually didn't assert myself and talk to people about God and after watching that video, i was sorta thinking, i gotta talk to people about God and it's okay if i piss them off (though doing so wouldn't be simply to piss them off). now...after a notable Sunday of Dr. Cary from Mexico speaking, something new occurs.
follow God. talk to God. commit. work on whatever He has planned for you, and don't hesitate or be scared away when the enemy begins to attack, which is a guarantee as long as you are doing something for the Kingdom. just keep praying, asking God to take care of the attacks, and keep working, keep building, keep fulfilling what God has called you to do.
Dr. Cary was talking about Nehemiah, how he was just an ordinary, commonplace kind of guy (a servant, really) who decided that something needed to happen, and did it. but to say he had any idea about how it was to happen would be wrong. he had the mission on his heart (or at least he did after four months of prayer and fasting), but the plan was beyond his. it was entirely God's. but that didn't stop him - not knowing the specifics. he just did what God called of him, committing and persevering, after attacks came. he was building, amidst a bunch of chaos going around him, and Dr. Cary imaged Nehemiah saying "protect me God. i'm building for You, doing Your work, take care of me," and you know that God blesses those who follow. the whole time - Nehemiah was praying, building (in that order).
at the altar call, i realized something about lust. it's a wall. i'm building a wall against lust. but the whole idea is: i have no idea how. but i know that this is a wall i'm supposed to build. and when Satan throws things in my path, i need to persevere and stay committed and let God take care of the attack and just keep on working. no compromise. focus.
and then i think about ministry. how to do ministry...and then, i think it's not "well, i think i'm gonna go do ministry." i think it's more like "i'm going to be committed to God." and after that, it's not like "let's go do ministry." it's more of "i'm going to stay committed to God." and you stay committed and you stay with God instead of wondering off, and God does whatever He plans. and it's absurd to think you should be doing anything else, like be (at least primarily) spending all of your time learning ministry tactics and technics and whatever. you should be spending your time with God - that's the only way you'll ever be able to minister or touch another life.
at the altar call, we laid down our compromises. where we were not fully committed or devoted to God. all of our idols and the things in the way. now we're just building walls. [i was pretty excited that one of the new girls to our youth group went up there]
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my sister came back. my youth pastor was ordained as the English pastor, and Dr. Cary came back from Mexico to do it, so it was a pretty amazing weekend. and i don't have school tomorrow. last Friday, i went to OU and ran a 5:16 mile, which is pretty remarkable since the training was around a minimum. and it turns out that we're going to Michigan for the mission trip this summer. man, i have vivid memories of last year. i look forward. DFC is also doing 30 hour famine this weekend to raise money for food for the impoverished in 3rd world countries. if you wanna help out some way, please contact me.
speaking of OU...that's where i'm going. i got flat-out rejected from Rice. not even a wait list. looks like i'm going to OU, and though i'm not entirely all that excited, i think it sorta makes sense, though i really don't want to make a theology out of it. it would have been so easy to go to Rice. if i was talking to my youth pastor, i might ask "is this the difference between being blessed and being chosen?" i guess OU would be tougher. a lot of people, i hear the party scene is happening. will things be different? will God have His way? will i develop, or fall into the background? i hope it is not that. [i hope i get the right friends, i don't want want to be dealing with drinking and stuff of the sort.] what will become of me? i have no idea. that's why it is imperative i follow God's plan.
everyone from my youth group is going to OU, everyone that graduates this year, anyway. Daniel will be there two more years, and so will Cynthia and Aileen. i don't know what to think. i hope i don't make the same mistakes i have made in the past, that God be lifted high. i hope i dream tonight.
what to think? God be lifted high.
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happy birthday, Stephen. he got into Rice and he is one of the most talented people i know. plays violin in the youth symphony, a great tennis player, a very caring and funny friend whom i sit by in statistics, physics, and calculus. he can do a Rubik's cube in under five minutes, i would say, but he's only had it for about a week, when he bought it the same day he won the Academic Bowl state championship with the team.
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