God, would You take this undeserving heart and make me to lie down in green pastures? that in the midst of all of this turmoil and hype, chaos and confusion, You would hedge me in, speak slowly and still, calm me down, that i may see Your provision, that i'm still surrounded by Your love, that You are still committed to finishing the work You began in me.

would You transform me from the inside out, take my heart that is so prone to wandering, so quick to anger and quick to speak, and change everything. throw out what doesn't belong, the trash in my life i ironically adore, the rubbish i center my life around. please clean me up, create for me a new heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

it's a new year, but my sin stays the same, my battles refuse to let up. God, how You would work in and around me if i finally put away my idols from me and rested my attention on You. how You would transform and renew if i truly responded to Your call, to serve another in love, to follow Your commandments with a reckless, selfless abandon, even if i don't seem to understand, even if i don't even feel the guilt i supposedly should. make me like a son, i plead. Abba, Father.

amplify and magnify. may my faith be established, may obedience and diligence and longsuffering be before You. for You paid the price, You Yourself set me free and destroyed the law, nailing it to the cross. i've been set free, for You were the One who was bruised for my transgressions, spit on and ridiculed for my sake. how then, could i possibly say i don't owe You anything? how could i possibly reason or ignore Your sacrifice to say i can do whatever i want - i'm not even my own.

God, according to Your lovingkindness, according to the multitude of Your tender mercies, according to what You've done, have Your way in me. not that i have anything of any worth, not that i have done things the right way, not that i've even followed with diligence the law. not that i have anything that could compare to Your love, not that anything in this world is anything aside from You. let me forsake this world, to run from it with joy and endurance and understanding - that One has come who is mighty to save, a Savior by nature, a Lover and Redeemer, Deliverer and Defender. not to tip toe the line of grace, but to run as far and as hard as i can away from this world, the law, the things that have enslaved me.

may You have all of me. and though my heart is so prone to wander, Lord, keep it here with You. You are my Lord, the Lord of Lords, a sovereign King, a passionate Lover, a selfless Friend. You are greater and bigger, You're there when i'm not. You're faithful when i'm not. You're loving when i'm not.