honor + random epic

went to church yesterday night and the pastor there was talking about the importance of honoring others in relationships. i guess i have sorta forgotten the big picture of the sermon - i think that God's blessings or work in our lives is somewhat of a response to the level of honor in our relationship with Him and with others - but there was one thing that stuck with me. the pastor said that if we declare spiritual truths, then there should be a level of physical evidence. even if it's trying and failing or struggling and falling miserably, there's still some sort of evidence of that spiritual truth in one's life.

at the end, the pastor asked people to stand up if they felt they had had an unhealthy disconnection with a previous church, in which they had not honored those in their positions. even if they had been mistreated or abused in some kind of way - or even if they themselves had been dishonored - these people were asked to stand up and commit to honor and reconcile those from their old churches. i didn't stand, though i really could have. i am not in the greatest position of honoring those in leadership at my old home church.

i got to thinking more, and it started hurting. if i declare a spiritual truth - like i want to have a loving heart posture towards a person - then there should be some kind of physical realm evidence of that truth. (if not, then you're basically looking at a hypocrite) and so i look back and am reminded of my struggling or broken relationships and what the pastor said makes sense. it was a lack of honor that led to that brokenness or that disconnect. and maybe it's honor that is going to reconcile what has been broken.

in the grand scheme of things, i guess it really doesn't make sense to let things stay broken. i don't really want people to be mad at me and to be justified in their anger or frustration. i know i've hurt people though. i have cut down people close to me and been a blind idiot to those extending love to me.

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things here at OU have been all right. i guess there's a lot of running around and some being tired. there's not that much here that is truly exciting. the thing that i could be most excited about is EPIC, but this semester really has been kind of rocky. we did large groups every other Tuesday for a while and then just got started with small groups this past week. things are certainly different - but that's good (in a difficult kind of way). it'll keep up us on our toes. we're close to being a university-recognized organization, which means we can rent out rooms and do some tabling.

i've thought about this for somewhat of a while, and i think that i really desire for EPIC to be a fellowship filled with people who don't care about EPIC. the only reason i guess we are even on campus is because we may be able to serve and reach out to people in the Asian American community at OU. but beyond that, we really don't matter. who cares if someone is loyal to EPIC? what matters is how they are doing with God, and EPIC doesn't have a monopoly on anything. we're not a social group focused on or striving to be exclusive or recognized. what matters is whether we can aim people towards Christ or not.