true love

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.” 1 John 4:16a

I recently asked one of my friends if she thought that we were ever blinded by love, and she said that the only love she really knew was God’s. She said that this was the only real love she had ever experienced, and so it made sense to base a relationship with anyone else on that same love that she had found in God. We have such trouble loving others without loving God because, in that moment, we would not have had a Godly love to base our own love off of. Just as God is love, without really knowing the extent and the fullness of God’s love, it would be impossible to truly love another being. And that love is like wisdom from heaven (James 1:5, James 3:17) or a mirror by which things are truly seen – we are not blinded by this love; rather, we see things clearly through it. That love is clarity and humility and unselfishness, understanding and peace beyond understanding.

And assuming that true love is defined and shown only by God, it wouldn’t make sense to try to enter into a loving relationship with another human being without first bringing into that picture the very love that you had discovered and received from God. It would make sense that our love and ability to love would flow from God – would overflow from our understanding and our experiencing more and more of God’s love. The more we are loved by God, the more we are able to love others. The less we accept love from God, the weaker our capacity to truly love others.

It would then follow to make sense that we must be first and foremost completed and loved by God. And it is in this completion and fulfillment and exposure to true love that we can then love others in healthy relationships. Without such satiation in Christ, it would be impossible to truly love.

The morning after the conversation, I began to read through 1 John and stumbled upon a verse that sums most of this up: 1 John 3:16. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us.” Our views of love, apart from the story of God’s love for us, are distorted. Many believe that love is when you feel so good about the person that you want to spend all your time with them, when things are romantic and beautiful, when your heart feels heaven. 1 John 4:10 then reads, “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” It is not that love is feeling – but an attitude or mindset, a gravitation or commitment to a higher way. Love is beyond feeling – choosing to see and know and hope and accept regardless of the person or the person’s actions.

And take that a step farther, because we did not love God, and He sent His Son to die for us. In examining Christ’s love, we find that our own conception of love is still not to the extent of the love that we have been shown. It is notable that we have not loved God – we are not deserving, not worthy of receiving love from Him. It is notable that He created us for His glory, to be in loving relationship with Him, and while we had no life or power apart from Him, we began to believe we were our own gods and had no need for the One who alone gives our lives meaning (Romans 1:21-23, John 1:10-11). It is notable then that He did something about it – He allowed His worthiness to be destroyed and defiled – by us – for us, while we were still unworthy, while we had failed to see the enormity of our offense.

Before Jesus’ crucifixion, He is brought on trial and questioned before different judges. Several testify against Him, and their accounts don’t even make sense, and He refuses to answer them. He remains silent. The only thing He really does is confirm that He is the Son of God, that He is the Messiah.

“The chief priests accused Him of many things. So again Pilate asked Him, ‘Aren’t you going to answer? See how many things they are accusing you of.’ But Jesus still made no reply, and Pilate was amazed.” (Mark 15:3-5)

He had no answer for their accusations. He did not defend Himself. Instead, He silently went to the cross. No doubt, He had a lot He could have bragged about. He opened the eyes of the blind and healed the sick, causing the lame to walk and the mute to speak and the demon-possessed to be set free. He had not been like the spiritual leaders of the time and acted unjustly, seeking to build for Himself a kingdom on earth. In fact, He was unlike anything the world has ever seen. He associated with the poor and the outcasts and made His company with prostitutes and tax collectors. No doubt He had His answers. He could have defended Himself. He could have gotten off that cross and saved Himself; more than that, He could have wreaked havoc in such an unfathomable way that our agony would have been unceasing. [Is He then wrong if man goes to hell? Or is He just?]

He didn’t defend Himself. He defended us.

“But if anybody does sin, we have One who speaks to the Father in our defense – Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.” 1 John 2:1b

This is love. That we were wretches, deserving of hell, unworthy of life. We turned our backs on the only One that matters, the very reason we are alive. And that very One turned around and gave Himself to us, because our very murder of Him would set us free, could possibly usher us back into relationship with Him.

This is love. Not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.