i need You more

i need You more than:

composure
security
confidence
comfort
i can ever know
i can ever fathom
anything
life itself
i am willing to admit
my heart can shout
words can express
ever

---

i'm not sure if i have words. things are okay, they'll be okay. i'm not sure i was ever at risk of not being okay. i am still held by a timeless God, a tender-mercies-new-every-morning God, a Lion and a Lamb. i will still stand at the forefronts of a generation, of a worldwide movement. i will still hold on to great things, for His plans for me are great, and He has placed me in huge positions. though i might struggle and gasp for other things, His relentless love will never let go. let me not settle for anything less.

i smile.

the world will never know and never take away, but i have something kings want a part of, something angels dream about. i am held by a loving God. would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

i still smile.

disappointment fades away into the back of my mind. instead of sinking to the depths of my heart, it is burned away by the living breath of a living God. i'd by lying if i denied that things are still beautiful. times change and lives hang in the balance, but He never does. more and more is revealed, more and more shines into our lives. our own beauties are revealed, and our own necessities met more obviously by a Satisfier, a Provider, a Deliverer, the One who sees in secret.

proclaim it on the housetops, declare it in the assemblies. God is still God. each day is great, each day beautiful. there is nothing that will hold down His people, where God is, there is freedom. there is no such thing as confusion in the presence of the Lord. our complaints disappear, our inconveniences give way to higher callings, greater things, as they should.

all will see, and all will bow down. every tongue will confess, all of creation cries out to its Maker. the One we have waited for has found us, redeemed us, set us aside as His own. there is nothing we won't have, nothing we will lack. there is nothing that will cause us to stumble, nothing that will lead us astray.

but we will have peace. God's people will rise up with joy and peace and love and hope and a fool's faith, and though we be fools for Christ's sake, i wouldn't have it any other way. the blind will see, the lame will walk. the weak will rise up in strength, the poor made rich. our hope is in Christ.

and He does not disappoint.