back from michigan

back from michigan, i'm not sure if i could express what happened and what changed in these past two weeks. and...i am ecstatic. God showed up and...all of us were onto something great, we were on the brink of something big. the whole youth group grew so close and the things that God was doing in us were so amazingly revolutionary that all of us really are ruined for anything less.

yesterday night, billy started freaking out because he didn't want to go back home. he didn't want to lose these past two weeks, because God was really using him, and God had honestly delivered him and turned him into a real leader, someone really actually committed to His will, committed to overcome the world and get as far away from pride as possible and let God have all of him. and we sat on a curb by the hotel talking for a while because he didn't know what to do, except that he couldn't lose what had just happened. he couldn't forget, and he was afraid he would.

that same night, maybe an hour later, jerry broke down. because God had occurred to him a couple days earlier and he had been freed from a lot of burdens and a lot of crap and now...he had forgotten. and he was staring in the face of a battle and realizing how impossibly hard it would be - to remember what God had saved him from. to remember who God was. and he was staring at the idea of home, the idea of going back to a place where things couldn't be like they were in Michigan.

and once we pulled into Mike and Lisa's driveway, i began to realize that we didn't belong here. that this was stupid, we shouldn't be coming back home. we should keep going, keep fighting, keep moving, keep fellowshipping, and keep seeking out God and all of these things. and...it occurs that this is what the excitement is all about. this is the battle right here. coming back home to everything that is comfortable and seeing if we can still be Christians in an environment that doesn't exactly welcome it, in homes and families and schools and even churches that won't understand what we have seen and why it is so important to us to keep it going.

God really did light us on fire. God really did show up and start changing all of the rules and start freeing us from doubts and fears and false securities and pride and everything that was in the way. and He showed He was faithful. He showed He was God. and now, we're ruined for this world. and we have right to freak out, because we see there's nothing wrong, nothing at all wrong, with having your whole life resting in God's control. things are even, dare i say it, impossibly better.

i got the huge blessing to be a small group leader, the whole experience of which just blows me away. and each of the small group leaders designed a Bible study that each of the leaders delivered to their groups, and mine was about Jehosaphat, in 2 Chronicles 20, and how he was faced with this impossible battle, three nations against one, and he was so afraid, that he proclaimed a nationwide fast (which is a big deal...) just so that they could seek out God together. and when Jehosaphat prayed, he said "we have no power against this great multitidue that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You."

and that's what this is about. this is about us trying to get to God, which invariably means having to deal with and overcome the world, which is downright impossible. to try to stay in this state of God-intimacy mode without being states away from home with an entire youth group keeping me focused. and the idea is that...we don't know what to do. but all that matters is that we keep our eyes on God. all that matters is that we seek Him out, that our hearts cry out for Him, and when His grace is there, we jump for Him. the battle is His. it's not ours to fight. this is what happened in 2 Chronicles 20:15, it said "do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's." and Jehosaphat entered battle against these three nations without any kind of offensive weaponry. just worshippers proclaiming the name of Jesus. and not one of their adversaries survived. the battle was God's.

check out later for the post of my mission trip journal. i'll get it up ASAP, maybe within 2 or 3 days. God bless.