one thing i can't forget

there's one thing i want to do today, and one thing only. i want to give my heart away. i have a test in about an hour that i might be ready for, and i have a test tomorrow. and it would be so great to just give my heart away.

the Restoration group has planned 12 hours of prayer at a coffeeshop with a prayer house owned by a Norman mega-church. we had it in the planning process for about two weeks and were praying about it yesterday night and there was grace, but there was also consciousness. i mean, barely two more weeks of school left - the year is coming to an end. and i must admit, it sorta feels like God has preparing us for this tiny, almost-secret event the whole year, that He's been working in our hearts and occurring to us to bring us to a point like this, and we'll just spend the night praying and wrapped up in His arms, being brought closer and knowing more the God we've come to know a day at a time, a prayer at a time.

so...i thought i would post up here, because there's this anticipation of just being honest. i'm not sure if i expect catharsis, but...i certainly expect to meet God tonight. and i think i'll only be disappointed if i don't give my heart away. i want to pour out my heart and be honest about everything for an hour - to have eyes that see into my life and lay down everything i have and have done as an offering - and i know that God will respond and answer my cries. i don't need to be touched in a super supernatural kind of way or peace or spiritual highs. i just want to be desperate and to pour out my heart tonight, to have God wash over me, because i know He's everywhere we turn.

and then...sometime, He'll breakthrough. it'll be painfully shattering, groundbreaking, paradigm shifting. it'll be...out of this world, a thing of beauty, a force to be reckoned with, an unparalleled splendor. man, it'll be something exciting.

so...here's my post. i really hope to be someone new the next time i post up here. because one day in His courts is better than thousands elsewhere...and maybe i won't spend an entire day today, but i'm at least going to spend a couple hours, and i do proclaim that God is good.