why is God important to me?

why is God important to me? and is He as important as He should be?

why do i worship God? is this reasonable to expect from God? is it too much, or too little?

what drives me? what makes me come alive? what do i turn to when everything seems to fail, when i need to let go of stress? what causes me to rejoice? what makes my day, and what ruins my day?

what do i want to be remembered for? what do i want to be associated with?

i guess i ask these questions because it's where our heart is, and i think it really forces us to try to search into God and who He really is. we say that He is loving and caring, that He is the truth, the way, and the life, that He is the great giver and He is sometimes like a King, and sometimes like a Father or a Best Friend. He is perfect and omnipotent (nothing is too difficult for Him) and He is omnipresent and He is not affected by time. He is a Creator of everything, including us, and He is the One who makes people come to life and lay down to death. He's the One who judges us in the end, He's the One who gave everything for us, He's the One who treated us like we were hidden treasures in a field.

and He is worthy. and merciful, completely truth and yet completely gracious.

and yet - do i treat Him like God? or do i exalt myself? do i stand against Him and what He desires for me? or am i all about Him - and completely insistent upon Him having His way and His will even at my own expense and discomfort.

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i don't think that we are meant to be perfect here on earth. what i mean is this - i think that as long as we are here on earth, we won't hit a point where everything around us is completely good and we never have any worries or concerns again. i don't think we ever hit a point where we can have the right to be complacent or lazy (not to say we can't rest).

i think this idea might be supported by Scripture when it says to be of a contrite spirit and a broken heart, because we are not masked by temporarily awesome circumstances. i think that we will still receive the desires of our hearts, and we can take joy in all things, but we will continue to face adversity and challenge and tension as long as we are here.

why else would Paul compare it to dying each day, to having one's own body crucified? is there not some price that must be paid, some suffering that must occur (even for our own chastening)?

and why else would Jesus say that we are being sent out like lambs among wolves, to be devoured? and why else would He say that we are blessed when we suffer persecution for His name, that we could possibly be counted worthy of suffering for His name?

we live like heaven is here. but what we really wait for is heaven itself, and that glory and rest will be completely unparalleled.