new kind of running and Spiderman 3, pt 2

now that track is over, i find that i have the freedom to do what i enjoy - running. which is kind of weird, because i've been running for the past two months, six days a week, every week. but now...this is a new kind of running, it seems. a free kind of running. i've been going out at nights, for the past three days, running to random places to catch the sunset and then walk home the last bit in the dark. and it feels really great, and it's weird because running hasn't felt so good for a while. i think because it's not running simply so i can say that i'm running, because i don't really have a reason to keep running, and it's not running just for the sake of getting faster or better, because i'm not going fast, hard, or long enough to be able to say that (or even trying, for that matter).

anyways, my love for running is being reaffirmed, and...it's great, though i still can't put my finger on why it is i like it so much. it is nice because it seems to slow down time, and it is something better to do than just staying home watching YouTube videos all day. and for some reason, i can talk to God when i run. i think it might be because when you run, you get tired, and you have to think about something, and if you are tired, then you get to be sort of vulnerable, and you just want for things to be okay, and at the same time, you find your mind wandering and thinking about what happened to your day and whether you are satisfied with it and all of the different things that are going on and whether you are turning into the person that you want to turn into and etc. and so it easily turns into a self-evaluation kind of thing, i guess. and maybe it's because of this that i find God easier to talk to...when i'm being real with myself about what's going on. because i think if i stopped running, it would be harder to realize this because i would never stop and think about my day and what happened, because time would be going too fast...

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Spiderman 3, part 2: WARNING: SPOILERS

at the end of the movie, Spiderman essentially pulls Eddie Brock out of Venom, separating the two. and Eddie Brock says that he wants to stay in the suit, that Spiderman shouldn't destroy it, because the suit lets Eddie feel good and it lets him stay mad (and this is an interesting point, because it really does feel good sometimes to be mad. i used to get irritated when something wrong would happen and i would be mad, but i wouldn't be able to stay mad and feel more important). but the point is that Eddie loved the suit, but he wouldn't have ever escaped had it not been Spiderman. furthermore, he might have not even realized the effect that the suit was having on him had he not been separated from it by Spiderman. and finally, the suit might have never been destroyed had it not been for Spiderman.

and this is a lot like God and us (though the lines get blurred because, though Jesus came and walked around with us, He still stayed separate from sin, and He never let it get the best of Him like Venom got the best of Spiderman). because God is trying to sanctify us, always - He is always pursuing us. He is always pulling us away from Venom, from our sin, and trying to get us things that are better than what we have with our sin. and yet, it is essentially important to know that we have a choice. we either choose to separate ourselves from that sin and take a step closer to God or to return to our sin. because Eddie had a choice - he could start listening to what Spiderman had to say, or he could try to jump back and salvage the suit and try to kill Spiderman and get his revenge. and that's the same way with God, because we certainly do have the choice to love or not to love.

and the point is that Spiderman ultimately destroys Venom, just like God destroys our sin. but what is interesting is that Eddie loves the suit so much that he jumps in the last second and essentially dies with it. and there's no question about it that Venom made him feel good and that's why he pursued it - there's no doubt that sin feels good. but it doesn't satisfy. it doesn't resolve problems, it doesn't change things for the better. it ends up consuming you, turning you into someone you don't want to be, making you do things you don't want to do, and exacerbating problems. but anyway, when you talk about God killing people and God doing all of these horrible things to the world... it might not be like that. because God is killing sin. God won't tolerate it. He'll tolerate us, as people, created in His image, but He won't tolerate the sin that has corrupted us, and so He destroys it. and we watch as He destroys it, and we can either choose to jump back into it (and essentially die with it) or try to go without it.

so this is what God is doing, i think. He is constantly pulling us out of our sin, trying to get us to go without it so that we can end up being who we were meant to be, so that we can see the reality of the situation and that we are hurting ourselves. and when we resist what He is doing, we are jumping back towards our sin, investing more of ourselves into this venom. and so, it really does simplify to taking a step towards God or taking a step towards sin, in many of the decisions that we make. and here lies my challenge: how will we respond? it's called sanctifying, when God is trying to make us more and more like Him. how will we respond to it? because it'll probably hurt, and it probably won't feel as good as not caring does. will we resist? or will we just decide to try to be sanctified?