2010 summer update

hey guys, i'm not sure anyone ever reads this blog anymore, but here's an update anymore. things here have been good, though i would be lying if i said it's been like this for a long time. i've had my fair share of ups and downs over the past several months, going in and out between spiritual momentum or conviction and lethargy. these past couple days have actually been good, definitely being able to bask in the love and the transformation and peace of God.

i know that, for the longest time, i felt like God wasn't really teaching me anything. but recently, i think i actually have been being taught by Him, though it might not be a huge revelation. i feel like He's been showing me how it is only by the power of the gospel and what was done on the cross that my life can truly be transformed, from the inside out. and much of what i've done recently has been trying to change the outside first, hoping that the inside would follow. Jesus talks about this directly when He goes off against the Pharisees about their washing habits, saying that they clean the outside of cups while the inside is dirty. in the same way, i had been trying to change my behavior and the way i spent my time and the way my life and relationships looked, while all those things were powerless against what was really going on in my heart level.

i pray that i continue to be humbled, that i would really, truly seek after God's face and knowing Him more and more. i hate that i tend to compromise things and complicate things, that my pride is so easily fueled by the most meaningless things. and i pray that my standards of holiness would be Yours and not that of this world's. and that all of this is only for Your glory and that every eye is turned towards You and what You are doing, not me and not what i'm doing.

work has been good - i've been working as a web developer for a local company, building a website application for the past couple months. i'm surprised by how much i've learned - JavaScript (+ libraries like jQuery, extJS) and DOM elements, PHP, SQL, Ajax, CSS, small tricks here and there... it's been a lot of fun.

at the same time, i'm trying to get ready for what i am hoping/expecting to be my last year of school. i have just recently been thinking more extensively as to possible theses, and have been considering trying to take on a modified Google algorithm that could determine the maliciousness of websites and possibly be used to improve Internet filters. in a more broad sense, a modified Google algorithm that could take any list of website URLs and determine the top associated websites with those pages.

for instance, Internet porn is somewhat of a big deal. i have heard that some Internet filters basically rely on a list of websites that will be blocked no matter what. using a modified Google algorithm might be able to better and more accurately predict websites of malicious or pornographic content, given a pre-compiled list of pornographic websites. also by the nature of Google's famous Page Rank algorithm, which determines a page's value based on how it is linked by other sites, the pre-compiled list of pornographic sites, which often link to one another extensively, could possibly easily point to other sites of similar content.

anyways, besides that, i've been hitting back to Tulsa on a bunch of weekends, spending time with the youth group and getting psyched to hopefully play worship at a retreat in less than 2 months. and i can't believe that school will be starting in about a month. things with my girlfriend Suzi has been good, though it's been a little more difficult because we haven't really been able to see each other at all over the past month. but i'm excited for all of the things that God has put in her life, her involvement with her church and what she'll be able to work on this fall semester. i pray that God would really continue to move our relationship towards Him and that we would be sanctified by His blood, convicted to surrender more and more, to hold nothing back from His control.

at the same time, i'm excited for what i'll be able to do this upcoming semester, and wondering if anything might develop in terms of my own personal ministry. i'll have some direct opportunities over the next few weekends, and i guess we'll see if anything happens. hopefully will stay humbled, knowing what matters, and living with integrity.