a short about music and worship

i have been pondering between the difference between Christian and notChristian music lately. maybe it's an idea that we ourselves are instruments to God, but it just seems that a Christian band should be so much more different than a nonChristian one, more different than just the lyrics of the songs.

one of the leaders in my church once said that the very ones who didn't need to be in the front of church playing music to justify themselves should be the ones up there. the ones who needed to be up there to say something about their identity shouldn't exactly have been up there.

and so, i guess what i am trying to say is that a worship leader takes focus off oneself and puts it on God. a worship leader doesn't need to be up there and doesn't need to be seen. he doesn't need the hype or even the response of a crowd to find his justification in Christ. the result is that you don't go to a concert and just sing along. the result is that you yourself experience worship together, you join the body, you sing incredible and beautiful things and God oh-so-wonderfully moves sometimes.

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i want to run like crazy again, both literally and figuratively. i want that higher calling again, that thing bigger than myself, i want it so that everything in me - everything i have and am - is committed and devoted to Christ. i want to be able to be steadfast, to push through hard times and even learn how to enjoy them, and to enjoy the good times, counting it all blessing and privilege. i want to run and come alive, to trade away my ashes for His beauty, my sin for His righteousness, as He has already made the exchange.

my friend had a vision that had to do with me, and that to begin with is really kind of crazy for me to hear. but then, i heard the vision and it really does seem to have a scary relevance about it, a frightening significance. and i don't really know how to respond, but - wow - the truths that could be involved are unbelievable.

anyways, i started talking about music, because i think it such a beautiful thing to see worship. to see people worship, to see Christian bands playing with both their instruments and their lives. there's a band called Hillsong that's actually going to be in Oklahoma City on Sunday. there's just an image that's been imprinted in my mind since i saw it on a poster years ago - it was a picture of one of the guitarists with his hands off of his guitar, lifted into the air in surrender. images like this - of people who kneel before God or raise their hands in worship of God, who don't put on a show but actually take themselves out of the picture and allow themselves to be humbled, to be forgotten by this world - images like this simply resonate and make me think that this is what life should be.

i bring this up because i have really tried to emulate that kind of worship posture sometimes. i want to get to the point where i lift my hands from my guitar and worship God and feel something happen to my heart, like an emptiness filled, like a weight of love refusing to relent. i want that again, to be so convinced and consequently moved with the conviction of His love for me.