knowing who God is

this past week was killer, and as i reflect... today was a good day. because every day in this past week had the serious potential to stink, and some of the those days did happen to stink, but today was still a good day.

i think that these two things are pretty important... knowing who you are and knowing who God is.

i got to talking to Billy and it reminded me of reading this Donald Miller book (Searching for God Knows What) that said if we could really understand how much God loves us, then we wouldn't do half the things we do. it would completely change the way we live our lives, because no longer would we be motivated by getting better grades or looking better or trying to get social or financial security or any of these things. we wouldn't act out for attention and we wouldn't get into drugs or sex or smoking for the temporary satisfaction. if we really had a good idea of who God was, a true idea on who He is, then we wouldn't hold anything back. we would stop caring what other people think and letting them run our lives and we would stop investing ourselves into things that will pass away with time, because we would know that God, the Creator of the Universe, who ultimately brings things to life and death, loves us.

if you look at the world, or at people, to try to figure who God is, i don't think you'll end up with a very accurate picture in your head. it is mostly based on what the churches have done, what your pastor is saying, how other people act, who ends up in the White House, etc. if all you ever do is listen to people tell you who God is, i think you end up thinking that God is a destructive or corrupting political party, a scapegoat, an excuse, a cheesy philosophy like all the others (a relative truth), a reason for holidays, a tradition, someone who doesn't exist or play a role in our lives, someone who is long past dead, someone who wasn't even Jesus, someone who wants to squish us all like bugs. and truthfully, when i think about this kind of God, i want absolutely nothing to do with Christianity.

i went to Bell's Amusement Park a while ago and saw someone wearing a t-shirt that said "Fuck you, Jesus loves me" and i don't want to serve this kind of Jesus. i see bumper stickers that say "Real men love God" and i don't want to have to be serving some kind of god just so i can call myself a real man. i've talked to pastors and evangelists who only tell people that they are going to hell if they don't believe, and i don't want to serve this kind of god who i believe only out of fear. i see what some people do in the name of God, a lot of it having to do with killing and stealing and whatnot, and i don't want to be a part of that kind of religion.

but i think who God really is... is someone who loves. someone who gave it all away so that He would be able to know us, someone who doesn't care who we are, because He chooses to love unconditionally. someone who is perfect, who is just, who is eternal and doesn't change, our Creator. our Father and our King, and yet He gave it all away so that He would be able to see us come to Him. someone whose image we were created in, someone who is leading us to Him, someone who knows what is right for us, who is setting us up for something as beautiful as heaven.

and yes, i do believe that He is Jesus...i think that's necessary. i guess it doesn't make all that much sense, but i think it was entirely necessary. if we are deserving of death because of what we've done, then we'd either have to suffer on with this death, or somehow be redeemed, somehow saved from the death. something would have to take our spot. and the only thing that could take our spot, i think, is God, because He is the only one that is perfect and blameless, the only one who loves us enough to do it. anything else sacrificed wouldn't have been good enough to save us. it would have eventually screwed up and done something wrong or it would not have lasted forever.

1 Corinthians 7 says to "eagerly wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ," and i think that this makes sense. we can't simply be looking at things like church or culture or media to be able to really understand who God is. we have to have the revelation - in other words, this bit of truth has to be revealed to us from God Himself. That's another essential part of His character - He reaches down to us, He communicates and shows Himself to us.

so, to wrap things up, i think if we truly knew who God is and how much He loves us, we would stop at nothing to get to Him, to love Him back, to feel His arms wrapped around us like He's been wanting to do all along. but to really know God, we have to be looking to Him to figure out who He is, we have to find out for ourselves. hearing about something like love is never the same as actually experiencing it, just like reading about basketball strategy your whole life won't make you good at basketball. we have to actually turn to God and interact with Him to figure out who He is, or else we will sorta be stuck with this political party, scapegoat excuse, corrupting, limited God.